


Misery Loves Company

by BelieveInNargles13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, because marisha ray has destroyed me 2 weeks in a row now, can read as beau/jester if you want, post episode 93
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22490908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelieveInNargles13/pseuds/BelieveInNargles13
Summary: Post Episode 93.  Beau realizes what that her actions might cause other people pain.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett
Kudos: 35





	Misery Loves Company

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 93 (AIRED 1/30/2020)!!! STAY AWAY IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET!!! I MEAN IT!!!
> 
> (Also the title may change because I'm too tired to think of a good one but want to get this posted.)

Jester hurried them very quickly away from the witch's hut. When she deemed them an acceptable distance away, they set up camp. Caleb started to put down his wire alarm and put up the dome. 

As he was casting his spells, Beau went over to Jester and grabbed her by the arms. 

“What did you give her?” Beau demanded to know. She couldn’t bear the thought of Jester having to give up something she loved. Jester was happiness and light. She shouldn’t have to feel the kind of misery the hag was asking for ever in her life. Beau looked Jester all over for any signs of what she had given up. She grabbed her hands to make sure they weren’t illusions. 

Jester held Beau’s hands back and smiled. “Nothing. I didn’t give her anything, Beau. I ummm…” her smile faded a bit. “You remember when Essek was talking about magic that can change a person’s memory? Well, that’s what I did to her. I made her think that we were such good company and she had such a good time with us that she agreed to lift Nott's curse! I know I told Essek that I wouldn’t mess around with such magic, but like… I couldn’t let Nott start a war. And I certainly couldn’t let you leave us!”

Beau let go of Jester’s hands and walked away from her and the group, taking a deep breath and running her hands through her hair. After a second she collapsed to her knees into the muddy ground and started sobbing. 

Jester immediately ran over to wrap her arms around her friend. But Beau pushed her arms away. 

“Why would you do that?! What if she figures it out, Jes?! I think we’ve seen by now that there are work arounds for all types of magic. And she’s powerful! When she realizes what you’ve done, she’s going to be fucking pissed and she’s going to come after you! You should have just let me walk away like I was planning to. My misery would have been enough to keep her satisfied. Then Nott’s curse would have been lifted and you’d all be fine.” Tears were streaming down Beau’s cheeks.

“But we wouldn’t have been fine, Beau!” Jester had also started crying. “It’s not just you that would have suffered! We all would be miserable without you,” she gestured back to the rest of the Nein, who had come closer to where the two women were kneeling on the ground. “Her feeding off your misery and all our misery? That didn’t seem like a fair trade.” 

Beau shook her head. “You would have moved on eventually. Gotten over it. Stopped wars and saved thousands of lives even without me around. Me? I’ve already lived longer than I ever thought I was going to and accomplished more than I ever could have hoped for. This time I’ve spent with you has made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Eventually all things come to an end anyway. This way I could have at least been in control of when it ended and known that it happened for a good cause. To help a friend and keep all you all safe.” 

“So you would just have given everything up? Everything you’ve accomplished. Everything we’ve accomplished as a group. Just so none of us would have had to? And you think we would have let you do that? You think we would have been okay with that?” Jester waited as Beau stared at the ground and then shrugged and nodded. 

Jester placed her hands on the sides of Beau’s face, forcing Beau to look up at her. She used her thumbs to brush away some of her tears. “Beau. I understand that we were just at your parents’ house and that brought up a lot of bad thoughts and memories. I know they made you feel like you were worthless and expendable growing up. I get that they threw you away like you were nothing. And that was all terrible and wrong. And I know I’m not going to be able to convince you overnight that none of that is true, but I will work every day to convince you little by little. You’re not expendable or worthless. You are amazing and beautiful and the best friend anyone could hope for. We all need you here. We all want you here. We all love you so much and none of us would be the same if we had never met you or if you left us.”

The tears continued to stream down Beau’s face. “But what if she figures it out and comes after you? If anything happens to you, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

“If she figures it out, we’ll deal with it then. We’ll probably have to fight her. But I know that I’ll be okay, that we’ll all be okay, because you’ll be here fighting her right beside me, right?”

Beau nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course I will be.”

Jester smiled at her and went to pull her into a hug again. This time Beau let her and buried her face into Jester’s shoulder, the sobs wracking through her body. 

Yasha was the first to walk over to the two women kneeling on the muddy ground and sat down right beside Beau. She placed a comforting hand on her back and began rubbing. Jester reached out and pulled Yasha closer so she could also join the hug. One by one the rest of the Mighty Nein joined in and twice in as many nights, Beau was the center of group hug from her family, enveloping her with love and support. Beau both hated it and cherished it at the same time. 

Caleb was the first to pull away, having abandoned his previous attempt to set up the dome, he needed to start the ritual again. He set it up so that Beau and the group were already inside it when it appeared. One by one everyone pulled away until it was just Jester holding Beau who had cried herself to sleep in Jester’s arms. Yasha helped set up Jester’s and Beau’s bedrolls in such away that Jester could continue to hold Beau as they both slept. Yasha set her own bedroll up on Beau’s other side, wanting to make sure she was close by if she needed anything in the night. She also wanted to make sure that she was nearby in case Beau decided to run off in the middle of the night. She didn’t think she would, but just in case. 

When Beau woke the next morning, the sun was starting to peak through the trees. She looked around to see that she was surrounded by her friends. Jester on one side. Yasha on the other. Caleb and Nott were above her while Caduceus and Fjord were sitting up below her quietly talking and keeping watch. Even Frumpkin the raven had nestled in behind her knees. She felt warm and a bit embarrassed. She would have hated giving this all up. But she knew she would offer it again if it meant keeping them all safe. She looked over a Jester sleeping peacefully. Beau knew that one day, hopefully not soon but eventually, the hag would realize what had happened and come after her. Beau couldn’t let that happen. Beau would do whatever it takes to keep Jester safe and happy. And for now, that was enough motivation for her to stick around and continue her own journey of growth to gain the skills to defeat the hag. With her new family by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> First off, Laura fucking Bailey! But also, Marisha fucking Ray! She was amazing last week and she was amazing again this week. She had me in tears. You could tell that she accepted that this was something Beau would do and while she didn't want to walk away, she was ready to do it. Which it why it's 4am and I'm posting this instead of sleeping. I needed to process and decompress. I would NOT have been okay if Beau had left. That being said, I'm contemplating writing about what might have happened if that's the way things had occurred. This may get edited after I sleep and read it again when I'm not exhausted.


End file.
